The truth about motherhood

Motherhood is isolating. Yep. Who would have thought? Surrounded by humans all day and just in the last 3.5 years there have been times where I've never felt so alone. I spent YEARS praying for kids. I still look at my life and can't believe I'm living in this dream. #allthebabies #allthetime - but, that doesn't change the fact that sometimes it totally sucks.

Sometimes I wonder why the heck I wanted this so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm literally overflowing with love for my family. I just finished walking through my kids rooms kissing them all for the 5th time since they fell asleep tonight and putting blankets back on and I want to vomit I love them so much.

But, WHERE DID ALL THE PEOPLE GO? I'm friends with 3,074 people on Facebook and interact on 5 different social media platforms and the only people I physically spoke to today have peed the bed in the last week and threw their mac and cheese on the floor at dinner.

"But she's the full time working mom with ALL the kids. She probably doesn't even WANT to come."

Guess what... I do! We do!! All of us moms with "so many kids" who might seem like they've got too much going on? We are really freaking lonely. And a text once every 14 days doesn't fill us to the brim with that social time we are literally DYING to have.

You never know! Us "moms of too many" might be sitting inside on a Sunday in July in 60* weather alone with four kids wondering what the heck to do because it's Sunday in Germany!

Hey fellow moms- that mom with all the kids over there? The one who looks like she's got it all together on Facebook and Instagram? Really She just wants invites to library time and play dates and impromptu dinners. You might get more "No's" than "yes'" - but she really needs that invite. Her overworked, over emotional, over thinking-it self NEEDS that invite.

This is just one of those seasons. One of those times when things don't seem to fit right. Our family isn't in the right place at the right time to feel whole. And this season will pass. And we will all be better people for it, eventually. But until then you'll find me over here reading articles like "11 ways to cope with lonliness as a new mom." ✌🏻

And hey? Moms feeling the same way- don't be afraid to vent to your husband about all this. It's conversations like these that pull you closer as a family. ❤️

Also, you're not alone, you're not crazy, you can cry about it, and this won't last for forever. Tomorrow's a new day to take 75 Snapchat selfies with your toddler.

to the Mothers

I was vacuuming the living room and moved a chair.
Stella found a cookie + proceeded to eat it standing on the carpet I was actively vacuuming. #motherhood #literallycanneverkeepup
 
😂😂😂😂
 
Happy Mother's Day!
There are literally DOZENS of women in my life who have been incredible role models as perfectly imperfect Mothers. People are constantly commenting to me that when they're having a rough day, they think "Shannon has to do this x3 (or x4 or x5) and I feel so much better."
At first I took that as slightly rude.
When you have a bad day, you think of how bad MY life is and then you feel better? GREAT. 
And then I realized, it's the biggest compliment of them all. and the ONLY way I'm able to get through everyday with this brood of children is because of the incredible examples I've been given throughout my life. I think back to every single mom who has been a pseudo mom to me, my Mom -- who is literally the unicorn of Mothers, I seriously have no idea how she accomplished what she did when we were growing up now that I'm attempting to do it, my Mother in Law who has come to our rescue too many times to count, and every single friend I watch being the most patient and kind and exemplary mom to their sweet babes. I think of my sister who walked me patiently through #allofthebabythings while I was on bedrest with the triplets and did every bit of research to come up with the highest functioning nursery for three there ever was. I think of my Sister in law who raised two kids in another country while my Brother was constantly deploying to war.
I've literally been given the most amazing examples of Motherhood that could ever exist. If someone wants to think of me in their time of trouble or need or panic or worry or anger or frustration-- I'm fine with that. I'm fine with them using me as the example. Because the Mothers I've used as examples are freaking Saints. 
There are just a few things I want every Mom who watches me on social media, or in real life, to remember: + Everyone posts the glimmers of beauty because it's easier for them to get through the day-to-day. Nothing you see on Instagram or Facebook is ever exactly how it seems. + We all have our meltdowns. I've spanked kids and cried about it afterwards with regret. I've screamed too loud. I've given up endless times. + We all have to find what works for us. Some moms shower every day, some moms thrive on dry shampoo and a prayer. You figure out what works with your life, and you run with it. + I go to bed every day thinking I could have definitely been a better mom. #youwinsomeyoulosesome

The most helpful advice I've ever been given as a Mother is to always give yourself some grace. Nothing is perfect, and Motherhood is far from it. <3Happy Mothers Day!

Isn't Motherhood about ME?! | 4 months with 3 babies

In the last 4 months everyone has asked me constantly about the babies. "How are they?" "Do they sleep?" "Do they eat well?" "How do you do it with three?"

Rarely do I get questions about me. If I do its usually directed at how much sleep I'm getting, or as they assume, not getting.

Why is it that moms are somewhat forgotten about after having a baby? or three. Just 4 months ago I brought three human little baby lives into the world and this is what it means to me.

-It means sleeping in a chair for a few months until you're comfortable that the grunts you hear from them does NOT mean they are choking and dying. -It means eating in shifts, sleeping in shifts,  using the bathroom in shifts, and potentially having random people grocery shop for you. in shifts. -It means never being well. ever. Never being able to build my own immune system. aka- Having mastitis three times, the stomach bug twice, two infected hair follicles on my leg, bruises that haven't gone away from delivery, and an infected nail bed. -It means pumping, for forever and ever and ever. not an end in sight. feeding babies while pumping, rocking babies to sleep while pumping, eating-pumping, sleeping-pumping. Too many times have I fallen asleep pumping and woken up swimming in my own breastmilk. -It means planning my life in 4hour shifts. Knowing that three little humans will be very, very angry if I am not in a place to stop everything I'm doing to feed them at EXACTLY 4hours from their last meal. How are their little bodies so good at timing things already?! HOW DO THEY KNOW?! -It apparently means that I am supposed to be an expert at everything baby. and by all means I AM NOT. What is better, Huggies or Pampers? Enfamil, Gerber, or Similac? Swings or Rock-N-Plays? Can they nap in a boppy? Are they supposed to sleep this much during the day? Is that a hernia? OMG THEY HAVEN'T POOPED IN 5 DAYS MY BABY IS DYING. oh wait....theres the poop...up the back of their onesie. -It means poking my squishy, stretchy belly skin and trying to count out how many stretch marks I have...and losing count eventually. -It means crying. all the time. Starbuck got my order wrong, I cry. My husband asks me if I took the trash out on trash day and I forgot, I cry. The dog barks, I cry. I am 30mins late for my pumping time, I cry. I see a Subaru commercial, I cry. I spill milk, I cry. Babies cry, I cry. -It means hair falling out. In clumps. SO MUCH HAIR, EVERYWHERE. How do I still have enough to put up in a ponytail anymore? This is gross.

 

It means keeping three little humans ALIVE with what I produce with MY BODY. It means having so much love that I feel like I'm going to explode. Love for these little creatures that cannot even express love in return... yet. It means coming home from being at work or running an errand and wanting to figure out a way to hold all three and never let go. because they are my entire world.

I cannot remember what it felt like not to love them. I cannot remember what it felt like to have my body to myself.

I don't want to remember.

Oh, so that's why no one asks me about me (except for maybe my ob/gyn😷😋). It's not about me anymore.

It means hanging onto every little smile, laugh, coo and doing the same stupid thing over and over and over for hours to hear that little noise just one more time.

Motherhood means being completely selfless. Giving everything you have. Now I know what it's like to be a superhero. It's that simple, right? Nope. There's nothing simple about it. To me, motherhood is messy, painful, tiring, rude, hungry, thirsty, upsetting, fulfilling, exhausting, exhausting, exhausting, and completely worth it every second of every single day.

Motherhood slaps me in the face every day and wakes me up, yet I still feel like I'm living a dream. The best dream there ever possibly could be. I say the words Son and Daughter and still get shivers. I HAVE THOSE. What?

I'm taught a new struggle of motherhood everyday. I also experience more joy in one day than I ever thought possible.

Next time you see a new Mom, let her know she's doing it right. Because you cannot hear that enough when it's your first (or 20th) time raising a new little baby human life.

 

Moms, You're doing it right. and you're amazing at it.

 

This post is dedicated to amazing friend and new mom, Adriana. Archer is so lucky to have you. <3